1 00:00:01,697 --> 00:00:02,797 The more submissions I get for this 2 00:00:02,828 --> 00:00:04,308 talent search, 3 00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:05,715 the more rejections I have to send out. 4 00:00:05,744 --> 00:00:07,964 Hey, you wanted to do this damn thing. 5 00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,141 Which was a great idea that 6 00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:12,186 I totally support. 7 00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:13,543 Good save. 8 00:00:13,622 --> 00:00:15,062 I just never knew I'd have to crush 9 00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:16,355 so many people's dreams. 10 00:00:16,451 --> 00:00:20,321 Nobody's had any trouble crushing mine. 11 00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:22,241 I've tried to be a survivor, a big brother, 12 00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:24,806 and america's next top model. Watch me strut. 13 00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:28,774 [Hums] 14 00:00:28,854 --> 00:00:30,424 Strangeé. 15 00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:31,568 I'll do the rejection letters, 16 00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:32,766 Mona. 17 00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:33,918 You know, I've had a lot of experience 18 00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:36,376 letting the ladies down easy. 19 00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:38,231 Oh, please! You've had your tires slashed and 20 00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:40,335 your phone cut off twice. 21 00:00:40,431 --> 00:00:41,951 That just taught me to park inside 22 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,262 and never date a sister from 23 00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:45,347 the phone company. 24 00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:52,011 ♪ Through this journey of discovery ♪ 25 00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:56,525 ♪ you're finding you, I'm finding me ♪ 26 00:00:56,621 --> 00:01:00,151 ♪ now that I have someone special ♪ 27 00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:01,974 ♪ who brings out the joy ♪ 28 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,242 ♪ brings out the joy ♪ 29 00:01:03,324 --> 00:01:06,464 ♪ inside of me ♪ 30 00:01:06,544 --> 00:01:08,764 ♪ we can become whatever we want ♪ 31 00:01:08,851 --> 00:01:11,031 ♪ all we need is lovin', yeah ♪ 32 00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:14,554 ♪ that's the way I feel it should be ♪ 33 00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:16,859 ♪ you and me ♪ 34 00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:21,556 [Off-key] ♪ me ♪ 35 00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:27,134 It's a little cute cafe. 36 00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:29,067 Aw! That's cute. You have identical Gucci purses. 37 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,869 Oh, trust me, they're not identical. 38 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:34,270 My Gucci is spelled with 2 os. 39 00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:36,045 Well, at least yours matches your shoes. 40 00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:37,379 I don't know what I was thinking. 41 00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:38,881 And if it makes you feel any better, 42 00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:41,878 this cost so much, my only other purse is a paper bag. 43 00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:43,231 Heh heh! Oh, I forgot my phone. 44 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:44,760 I'll be right back. 45 00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:46,543 Thanks for complimenting on Mona. 46 00:01:46,628 --> 00:01:48,368 She doesn't get that much. 47 00:01:48,456 --> 00:01:51,106 But you. You're 5 kinds of fierce. 48 00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:52,328 Just 5? 49 00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:53,646 Well, I subtracted one "fierce" 50 00:01:53,678 --> 00:01:56,678 because of the shoe-handbag violation. 51 00:01:56,768 --> 00:01:58,768 Oh, hey, Adam. What's shaking? 52 00:01:58,857 --> 00:02:00,207 Nothing, thanks to good genes, 53 00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:04,174 no carbs, and the ass-blaster 3000. 54 00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,754 Hey, Dee Dee, can I introduce you to... 55 00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:06,907 Stephanie seymore. 56 00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:08,386 You sure know how to suck the fun 57 00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,386 out of introductions. 58 00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:11,608 Hello, Dee Dee. 59 00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:13,306 What are you doing here? 60 00:02:13,394 --> 00:02:14,794 Delicious records is a client 61 00:02:14,873 --> 00:02:16,183 of the law firm where I had 62 00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:17,696 my summer internship. 63 00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:19,619 Oh, you mean the one you settled for 64 00:02:19,704 --> 00:02:23,364 when I aced you out of the really good internship. 65 00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:25,447 Yes, how did that go? 66 00:02:25,536 --> 00:02:27,116 I trust all that working closely together 67 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,247 with your boss didn't cause you 68 00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:31,498 too many rug burns. 69 00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:34,066 I love the smell of a cat fight in the afternoon. 70 00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:38,509 Dee Dee. Well, you never come here. 71 00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:41,293 Why did you come here? 72 00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:43,028 Oh, and I think you know Stephanie, 73 00:02:43,119 --> 00:02:44,559 who's clearly here to see Adam. 74 00:02:44,642 --> 00:02:47,302 And the plot thickens. 75 00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:51,304 Yes. Much like Stephanie's ankles. 76 00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:52,628 Mona, you never told me you were working 77 00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:55,130 with Ms. See-through... I mean Ms. Seymore. 78 00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,697 I didn't? Because I could've sworn I did. 79 00:02:57,786 --> 00:02:59,436 Let's just say I did and say I did. 80 00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:02,047 Well, I just dropped by to surprise you, 81 00:03:02,138 --> 00:03:04,178 but I guess I'm the one who's surprised. 82 00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:06,491 Don't look so shocked. You'll get wrinkles. 83 00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:10,447 And without your looks, where would you be? 84 00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:12,708 Still at the head of our law class helping 85 00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,061 the slower students. 86 00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:16,890 You should give me a call. 87 00:03:16,979 --> 00:03:18,379 Mona, I just came by to take you out 88 00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:19,239 for a drink. 89 00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:20,639 Oh, that is so sweet. 90 00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:21,772 I'd love to... - Great. 91 00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,123 But I already have plans. 92 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,513 With Stephanie. How does that make you feel? 93 00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:28,564 I'm sorry, Dee Dee, but it 94 00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:29,643 is work-related. 95 00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:30,947 Otherwise, you know 96 00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:32,316 I would never turn down free appletinis. 97 00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:35,132 No problemo. We'll do it another time. 98 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,035 You two go and enjoy yourselves. 99 00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:40,259 Thank you for understanding. 100 00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:42,570 Looks like you'll be drinking alone, 101 00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:45,487 but I guess you're used to that. 102 00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:54,024 [Vacuum cleaner whirring] 103 00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:56,673 I heard a lot of noise! Are you ok?! 104 00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,188 Yep! 105 00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,761 Are you sure you're ok? 106 00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:02,068 Yep! 107 00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:03,634 Ok! 108 00:04:03,721 --> 00:04:05,161 [Turns off vacuum cleaner] 109 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,065 You know damn well I'm not ok. 110 00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:08,989 I've been slamming around up here for hours 111 00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:10,554 just so you'd know I'm not ok, 112 00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,051 and I can't believe you're hanging out 113 00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:15,207 with Stephanie, ok? 114 00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:16,578 Look, I knew you didn't like her, 115 00:04:16,647 --> 00:04:17,907 so I tried to avoid her, 116 00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:19,076 but one night a bunch of us 117 00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:20,261 went out to dinner, 118 00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:21,697 and Stephanie and I got to talking 119 00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:23,113 and we found out we have a lot in common. 120 00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,962 Oh, you're a bourgie schemer with a mattress 121 00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:26,957 on your back? 122 00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:29,089 Wow. You really don't like her, do you? 123 00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:31,141 And I think that you should respect that. 124 00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:32,917 I do, but I'm my own person 125 00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:34,251 and I like her, and I think you 126 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,544 should respect that. 127 00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:36,843 Look, Stephanie is cool, 128 00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:38,098 and she's funny, 129 00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:39,300 and I didn't tell you about her 130 00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:40,682 because I didn't want to upset you. 131 00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,758 Too late. I'm upset! 132 00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:45,587 And when I'm upset, I flamenco dance 133 00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:46,756 in my golf shoes. 134 00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:51,121 Good luck sleeping, sister! 135 00:04:58,123 --> 00:05:00,213 Everybody, gather around! 136 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,520 You gotta see the worst audition tape ever made. 137 00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:04,847 Man, you're making fun of someone's 138 00:05:04,869 --> 00:05:05,869 hopes and dreams? 139 00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:10,087 That's not right. Let's see it. 140 00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:11,749 Ok, his name is Marlon, 141 00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:15,183 and he's so bad, it's wrong. 142 00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:17,711 [Off-key] ♪ when you wish upon a star ♪ 143 00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:22,095 ♪ oh, unh, your dream will take you very far ♪ 144 00:05:22,191 --> 00:05:24,851 ♪ oh, yeah, oh! ♪ 145 00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:28,633 ♪ And when you wish upon a dream ♪ 146 00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:33,379 ♪ oh, life ain't what it always seems, aah... ♪ 147 00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:34,463 He's getting 148 00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:35,858 a rejection letter, right? 149 00:05:35,944 --> 00:05:39,774 Bad as he is, he's getting 2. 150 00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:41,821 ♪ Ah, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 151 00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:45,685 Then Dee Dee implied that I shouldn't see 152 00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:46,780 Stephanie anymore. 153 00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:47,868 Crazy, huh? 154 00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:50,572 Crazy that you're a traitor. 155 00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:52,484 She's your sister, your blood. 156 00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:53,439 Her enemies should be yours 157 00:05:53,527 --> 00:05:55,957 and vice versa. 158 00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:57,101 I disagree. 159 00:05:57,182 --> 00:05:58,422 I should like or dislike people 160 00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,265 based on my own relationship with them. 161 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,360 Mona Thorne, I thought I raised you 162 00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:03,889 better than that. 163 00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:07,672 Love means hating who your loved ones hate. 164 00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,108 You really believe that? 165 00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:10,614 If I didn't, I wouldn't have had it embroidered 166 00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:13,111 on a throw pillow. 167 00:06:13,198 --> 00:06:14,638 And while we're on the subject, 168 00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:16,082 here's a list of the people I hate. 169 00:06:16,114 --> 00:06:18,904 Memorize it so you can hate 'em, too. 170 00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:20,507 I'm surprised it fit in your purse. 171 00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:22,557 I used a small font. 172 00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:26,856 You rang? 173 00:06:26,951 --> 00:06:28,521 Yes, I need your help. 174 00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:29,705 Finally! Ok, first we toss out 175 00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:30,907 all your clothes. 176 00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:33,740 Better yet, let's burn 'em, and then 177 00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:34,828 I'll take you shopping... 178 00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:35,826 Ok, this isn't about my wardrobe! 179 00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:37,877 Really? You sure? 180 00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:41,576 Yes. Look, I need you 181 00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:44,102 to make a reservation at the Fairmont tomorrow. 182 00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:45,506 I want to invite Stephanie and Dee Dee 183 00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:46,535 to high tea. 184 00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:49,323 Really? You sure? 185 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,889 Yes. I'm not gonna let either of them 186 00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:52,105 know the other is coming. 187 00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:53,354 This way maybe we can all get together 188 00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:55,069 and stop all the hating. 189 00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:57,463 Hmm. How sneaky. How clever. 190 00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:59,937 How can I get invited? 191 00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:01,768 I'm Asian. I love tea. 192 00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:05,116 And I'm gay. I love drama. 193 00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:06,967 Well, I guess it might help to have you there 194 00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:09,081 to take some of the focus off me. 195 00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:10,667 Ooh! I can't wait to see those two go at it... 196 00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:11,821 Hey! 197 00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:17,259 I mean, shake hands and smile and hug. 198 00:07:17,349 --> 00:07:19,089 Hey, I'm looking for a Mona Thorne. 199 00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:20,397 Do you have an appointment? 200 00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:22,533 Hey, you're the guy from the tape. 201 00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:24,526 Marlon struthers, right? 202 00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:26,748 Didn't you get either of our rejection letters? 203 00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:28,797 Oh, well, yeah. See, that videotape 204 00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:30,063 didn't do me no justice. 205 00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:31,755 See, in person, I pop. 206 00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:33,542 Ok? Now everybody gather 'round. 207 00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:35,037 I'm gonna need a mic stand and somebody 208 00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:36,063 to work the lights. 209 00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:37,391 All right? Oh, yeah, you can work 210 00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:38,593 the chorus, son, ok? 211 00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,625 Right, check this note. 212 00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,981 [Off-key] ♪ ooh, oh, oh... ♪ 213 00:07:43,071 --> 00:07:45,641 Marlon, Marlon! Marlon! Marlon. 214 00:07:45,726 --> 00:07:47,266 You seem like a decent guy, so I'm gonna be 215 00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:48,512 straight with you. 216 00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,248 We've received thousands of submissions. 217 00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:52,299 Some of them good, some of them... 218 00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:53,914 Yours. 219 00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:55,355 What he means is, competition is tough. 220 00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:58,087 At least you gave it a shot, 221 00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:00,003 but truth is, you're just not 222 00:08:00,088 --> 00:08:02,128 what we're looking for. 223 00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,240 Thanks for keeping it real with me. 224 00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,305 Mm-hmm. 225 00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:05,696 So where do you want me to sing? 226 00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:07,049 How about in here? In here? 227 00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:08,308 Yeah. Ok! 228 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,230 And go. ♪ ooh, I know... ♪ 229 00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:12,485 [Adam rattles tambourine] 230 00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:18,651 Mona, it was very sweet of you to invite me to tea, 231 00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:20,082 but given how we left things the other day, 232 00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:21,498 I'm a little... 233 00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,428 Oh, my god. Who is that hunka chunka chocolate? 234 00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:26,065 I don't know, but he's coming 235 00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:27,157 this way, so move. 236 00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:29,325 You're blocking my thin thigh. 237 00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,341 Hello, ladies. Welcome to the Fairmont. 238 00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:32,753 Hope you enjoy your time here with us. 239 00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:36,693 We will if you're on the menu. 240 00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:38,097 Pardon my sister. She can be a little 241 00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:39,556 cheesy at times. 242 00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:42,569 Are you on the menu? 243 00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:44,052 Well, as the manager, I have to say 244 00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:45,572 that I'm not, 245 00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:47,295 but as a single brother, I'll let you know 246 00:08:47,352 --> 00:08:48,702 on the way out. 247 00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:52,664 Hey, girls. 248 00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,099 Did you peep that hunka 249 00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:55,795 chunka chocolate? 250 00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:58,493 Adam, I didn't know you were gonna be here. 251 00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:00,021 This is a surprise. 252 00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:02,324 Well, get ready for a bigger one. 253 00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:04,111 Hey, Mona. 254 00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:05,935 What is she doing here? 255 00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:08,463 Mona: I thought if we met in a relaxed environment 256 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,738 that maybe we could all get along, 257 00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:11,376 and by "we" I mean you two. 258 00:09:12,421 --> 00:09:14,951 I'm out of here. I have no interest... 259 00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:17,082 I'll stay. Then I'm not leaving. 260 00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:23,556 This is nice. 261 00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,430 Isn't this nice, Adam? 262 00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:29,051 A bit tepid so far, but I'm hopeful. 263 00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:30,833 So, Dee Dee, how does it feel 264 00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,398 to be back at school? 265 00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:35,404 Good. I do miss being at the law firm, 266 00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:36,837 but I don't miss the 267 00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:39,234 arrogance, back-stabbing, and blind ambition. 268 00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:41,667 There's plenty of that at school. 269 00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:44,365 It's true. Law school breeds rivalry. 270 00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:46,243 But that just motivates you to up your game 271 00:09:46,324 --> 00:09:47,944 to use your intellect as a fine craftsman 272 00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:50,072 uses his tools. 273 00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:51,184 Of course, if your tools are 274 00:09:51,199 --> 00:09:52,809 inferior and played out, 275 00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,116 makes it tough to compete. 276 00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:55,422 Dee Dee, more tea. 277 00:09:55,507 --> 00:09:56,697 Good idea. You know she'd be lost 278 00:09:56,726 --> 00:09:59,116 without her tea... And "a." 279 00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:03,951 Sandwich anyone? 280 00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:06,818 Oops! Sorry! Butterfingers. 281 00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,870 I'm sure that was an accident, 282 00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:09,956 could happen to anyone. 283 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,830 No problem. Cream? 284 00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:16,568 Oh! Oops! 285 00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:18,569 Guess I'm clumsy, too. 286 00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:20,141 I dropped my napkin. 287 00:10:20,228 --> 00:10:23,318 Looks like we're all clumsy. Ha ha ha! 288 00:10:23,405 --> 00:10:25,275 Oh, sorry! 289 00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:28,113 Peach tarts are so slippery. 290 00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:30,062 Ok, that's enough, you two! 291 00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:32,411 And your tea wouldn't be complete 292 00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:35,161 without dessert. 293 00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,683 Look at that. Went straight to your hips. 294 00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:44,639 Here, Stephanie, let me help clean you up. 295 00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:48,261 Oh! 296 00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:54,610 Aah! 297 00:10:56,177 --> 00:10:57,217 All right, next time I try 298 00:10:57,308 --> 00:10:58,308 to keep the peace, 299 00:10:58,396 --> 00:10:59,476 I'm bringing a towel! 300 00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:05,533 [Knock on door] 301 00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:09,193 Look at this. My dress is ruined, 302 00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:10,627 thanks to your little 303 00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:13,893 "kum-ba-Yah-can't-we- all-get-along" tea party. 304 00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:15,327 You're the one who started 305 00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:16,593 the food fight 306 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,906 and got us kicked out of the Fairmont. 307 00:11:17,938 --> 00:11:21,718 I'm still picking biscotti out of my bra. 308 00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:23,511 No food would've been flung 309 00:11:23,595 --> 00:11:24,695 if you hadn't have gone against 310 00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:26,157 the code of sisterhood, 311 00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:28,910 which is, "if one sister has a mortal enemy, 312 00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:30,632 the other sister should stay the hell away 313 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,040 from said enemy." 314 00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:33,626 You are always talking about the sisterhood code. 315 00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:35,299 Can I buy this book in a store or do I 316 00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:36,410 order it directly from the 317 00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:38,094 alternate reality you live in? 318 00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:40,663 Mona, you cannot be friends 319 00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:42,923 with that peach tart. You saw how she behaved. 320 00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:44,616 Hey, people who live in glass tea houses 321 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,274 should not throw scones. 322 00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:50,228 I find that neither clever nor amusing. 323 00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:52,148 Stop hanging out with Stephanie! 324 00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:53,543 It's either her or me. 325 00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:54,815 I can't believe this. You're giving me 326 00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:55,894 an ultimatum? 327 00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:58,406 That's such an ugly word, but yes. 328 00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,370 Look, nobody can force me to make 329 00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:01,848 this kind of a choice. 330 00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:06,898 Not even my sister. 331 00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:08,377 Ok, if I didn't actually live here, 332 00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:09,616 that would've had much more of an impact, 333 00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:12,121 but you get my point. 334 00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:13,559 Hey, you need me to sign for that? 335 00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:17,125 I suppose. 336 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,623 [Dance melody playing] 337 00:12:26,702 --> 00:12:28,662 [Off-key] ♪ oh! ♪ 338 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,188 ♪ Come and see victory ♪ 339 00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:34,062 ♪ in the land of fantasy ♪ 340 00:12:34,144 --> 00:12:36,324 ♪ loving life, a new decree ♪ 341 00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:42,537 ♪ bring your mind to everlasting Liberty ♪ 342 00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:43,811 ♪ ahh, oh, oh ♪ 343 00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:45,293 [Shuts off iPod] 344 00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,553 ♪ Ahh, ahh... ♪ Marlon! Marlon! 345 00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:49,066 Marlon, Marlon, Marlon! 346 00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:50,729 What the hell are you doing, man? 347 00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:52,253 Oh, well, I took your advice. 348 00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,296 I got one of those extreme makeovers. 349 00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:56,082 Check out the butt pads. Huh? Yeah! 350 00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:57,226 That's what you're looking for, right? 351 00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:59,524 That's what you're looking for! 352 00:12:59,604 --> 00:13:03,004 Man, what we're looking for... 353 00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:04,386 Man, what we're looking for 354 00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:05,569 is talent. 355 00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:06,894 But what about my chiseled cheeks? 356 00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:08,476 You see these? You see these? 357 00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:10,750 Look, I know it's hard to accept, 358 00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:12,233 but, bro, you're gonna have to 359 00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:13,363 rethink your dream. 360 00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:14,444 Focus on finding 361 00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:15,879 what you're meant to do. 362 00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:19,189 That could be anything. 363 00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:21,626 Well, not anything. 364 00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:23,243 You know what? I'm sorry for getting 365 00:13:23,324 --> 00:13:24,594 all omarosa on you. 366 00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:26,173 I'm gonna go. I'm not gonna come back again. 367 00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:28,286 Mm-hmm. All right. I'm sorry, y'all. 368 00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:29,202 Yeah, I know. Ok. 369 00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:32,196 Mm-hmm. 370 00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,511 Mona Thorne! They're keeping me away 371 00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:36,817 from you, Mona Thorne! 372 00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:39,123 Aah! Oh, Mona Thorne, no! 373 00:13:39,209 --> 00:13:40,519 Listen to me sing! 374 00:13:40,602 --> 00:13:42,732 [Off-key] ♪ ahh, ahh ♪ 375 00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:46,780 [Knock on door] 376 00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:49,179 Hope you haven't come with another ultimatum. 377 00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:51,183 Mona, how would you feel if I started 378 00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:53,305 hanging out with your archenemy? 379 00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:55,047 Well, my archenemy is fog because it 380 00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:56,138 makes my hair frizz, 381 00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:57,786 so, sure, knock yourself out. 382 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,450 I have no problem with it. 383 00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:01,965 I'm talking about the archenemy 384 00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:03,448 you had when you were 10. 385 00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:05,318 Don't you remember Cathy pulley, 386 00:14:05,409 --> 00:14:06,719 schoolyard bully? 387 00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:09,762 Only every time I see a peanut butter cup. 388 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:10,869 Mona, voice-over: I was trick-or-treating, 389 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,723 once again dressed as a pirate, 390 00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:16,028 the only costume that worked with my eye patch. 391 00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:17,896 Well, if it isn't the one-eyed wimp. 392 00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:19,817 Cathy, uh, what are you dressed as? 393 00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:21,602 Your worst nightmare. 394 00:14:21,686 --> 00:14:25,466 Now give me your candy or I'll kick your butt. 395 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,040 What?! I gave you my candy! 396 00:14:27,127 --> 00:14:28,607 That was my trick. 397 00:14:28,693 --> 00:14:31,483 Kicking butt is my treat. 398 00:14:31,566 --> 00:14:33,606 Another traumatic trip down memory Lane. 399 00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:35,958 Well, grab your passport, missy, 400 00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:37,919 because this trip's not over yet. 401 00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:41,007 Guess who I just happened to run into 402 00:14:41,097 --> 00:14:42,007 after an exhaustive 403 00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:47,968 search of the Internet? 404 00:14:48,061 --> 00:14:49,411 Cathy pulley? 405 00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:51,497 That's right. All grown up and 406 00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:54,456 stronger than ever. 407 00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:55,585 And can you believe it? 408 00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,937 She's my new best friend! Heh heh! 409 00:14:58,027 --> 00:15:00,857 I've waited a long time for this... 410 00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:02,093 Wait, wait. I'm not the scared little girl 411 00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:03,338 you used to beat up. 412 00:15:03,424 --> 00:15:06,124 I am now a successful record executive, 413 00:15:06,209 --> 00:15:08,049 who will gladly hand over her cash and atm card 414 00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:10,041 without so much as a peep. 415 00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:12,646 Mona, look, I'm really sorry for the way 416 00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,087 I treated you. 417 00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:18,534 God, I've spent years in therapy because of it. 418 00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:19,853 Yeah, so, you know, I'd really like it 419 00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:22,565 if we could just put the past behind us. 420 00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:25,930 [Both] You would? 421 00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:28,322 Oh! 422 00:15:28,405 --> 00:15:30,885 Stop that, stop that! 423 00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:32,213 What kind of archenemy are you? 424 00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:33,275 Shake her down! 425 00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:34,237 I know she's got 426 00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:36,204 at least 20 bucks on her. 427 00:15:36,283 --> 00:15:38,113 You and I can still be friends, too. 428 00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:39,978 Hey, I'm cool with that. 429 00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:45,899 You two disgust me. 430 00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:47,208 And now Mona's still hanging 431 00:15:47,294 --> 00:15:49,254 with Stephanie. 432 00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:51,469 Oh, child, my child. You can desire 433 00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:52,599 one's loyalty, 434 00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:54,210 but you can't demand it. 435 00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:56,131 And to issue an ultimatum. 436 00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,216 How desperate. How ineffective. 437 00:15:58,305 --> 00:16:00,305 How Phyllis. 438 00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:02,184 Then what am I supposed to do? 439 00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:03,675 If you want something, you have to be 440 00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:04,921 clever about it. 441 00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:07,617 Can I tell you a story? Can I stop you? 442 00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:10,095 The place: The monterey montage suites. 443 00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:12,276 The event: Some random relative's 444 00:16:12,362 --> 00:16:14,102 tasteless wedding. 445 00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:16,020 My sister Vivian and I opted to jacuzzi 446 00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:18,055 after closing down the cash bar. 447 00:16:18,151 --> 00:16:19,591 That's when I first saw your father. 448 00:16:19,674 --> 00:16:21,424 Handsome, trim, 449 00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:23,032 and looking like the million dollars 450 00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:25,422 he was soon to be worth. 451 00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:27,806 Is there a point here somewhere? 452 00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:29,159 Patience, Dee. 453 00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:33,509 Anyway, I knew by her quiet, "ooh, daddy," 454 00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:36,691 that viv wanted him, too, so I slyly suggested 455 00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:39,088 that she put on a sexy bikini to 456 00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:40,302 really catch his eye. 457 00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:41,760 She ran off to change, and by the time 458 00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:43,133 she returned, 459 00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:44,349 Charles and I were gone, 460 00:16:44,438 --> 00:16:46,308 off beginning our Jewel-encrusted 461 00:16:46,396 --> 00:16:49,306 fairy tale. 462 00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:51,709 Aunt Vivian must've been furious. 463 00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:54,233 She never said so. Perhaps because she knew 464 00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:56,357 that Charles and I were meant for each other. 465 00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:59,240 Or maybe she simply admired my cunning. 466 00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:00,602 Or maybe it's because she hasn't 467 00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:02,631 spoken to you since. 468 00:17:02,717 --> 00:17:05,887 Well, of course, there's that. 469 00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:07,421 Nice ensemble, Phyllis. 470 00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:09,164 It's amazing how au courantthey're 471 00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:11,245 getting in plus sizes. 472 00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,034 Almost as amazing as you being able 473 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,469 to teeter through doors in those 474 00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,335 stiletto pontoons. 475 00:17:16,426 --> 00:17:17,856 Just so you know, 476 00:17:17,949 --> 00:17:19,879 I think Dee Dee was wrong to give Mona an ultimatum. 477 00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:21,738 The hell she was! 478 00:17:21,823 --> 00:17:22,843 If you can't count on your sister 479 00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:23,867 to hate who you hate, 480 00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:25,872 who can you count on? 481 00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:27,107 I guess when you're as universally 482 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,263 loved as I am 483 00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:29,871 you can't relate to such negativity. 484 00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:31,271 I am not negative. 485 00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:33,054 And just for that, you moved up 3 slots 486 00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:35,449 on my hate list. 487 00:17:35,532 --> 00:17:36,812 Which is hard to do because you were 488 00:17:36,838 --> 00:17:38,358 already number one. 489 00:17:41,234 --> 00:17:43,414 Hey, Stephanie. Thank you 490 00:17:43,497 --> 00:17:45,107 for inviting me. 491 00:17:45,194 --> 00:17:47,634 I didn't invite you. You invited me. 492 00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:48,938 Hi, guys. 493 00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:51,204 Sorry I had to lie to get you both here. 494 00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:53,067 It's a trap! You go left, I'll go right. 495 00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:56,249 She can't follow us both. Come on! 496 00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:57,246 Actually, I could, 497 00:17:57,337 --> 00:17:59,297 but don't make me prove it. 498 00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:00,912 Look, I wanted to make up 499 00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:02,212 for the disastrous 500 00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:04,128 tea party by having a nice one. 501 00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:06,393 Wow. That's really big of you. 502 00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:07,606 I'll say. 503 00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:11,915 I know. Often I impress even myself. 504 00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:14,273 So what caused you to change your mind? 505 00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:16,274 [Exhales] I realized that even though 506 00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:17,486 we're sisters, 507 00:18:17,574 --> 00:18:19,194 it was unfair of me to impose 508 00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:21,452 my negative view of Stephanie onto you, 509 00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:24,185 even if it was dead on. 510 00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:26,107 Sorry. Force of habit. 511 00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:28,062 But I'll try and hold the insults if you will. 512 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:30,590 You mean just for today, right? 513 00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:32,944 Oh, let's not get crazy here. 514 00:18:33,024 --> 00:18:34,204 Now, see, that's the kind 515 00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:35,327 of half-hearted, 516 00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:37,288 uneasy truce I've been hoping for. 517 00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:40,767 Excuse me. Ms. Thorne, this is for you. 518 00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:42,078 If this is your phone number, 519 00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:43,234 you could've been a little more 520 00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:44,432 subtle about it. 521 00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:45,934 Well, actually, it's from all of us here 522 00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:47,040 at the Fairmont. 523 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,906 Oh! 524 00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:52,091 "As a result of your previous behavior, 525 00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:53,204 "the management of the Fairmont 526 00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:54,309 cordially invites you 527 00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:56,794 to immediately vacate the premises." 528 00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:58,829 And what if I'm not ready to go? 529 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,140 Then I have to escort you out. 530 00:19:02,576 --> 00:19:07,056 I have been a menace. 531 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:10,186 Sorry to sip and run. 532 00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:13,459 So, Shawn, how do you stay in such great shape? 533 00:19:13,543 --> 00:19:15,073 Well, I do run a little bit. 534 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,114 Ooh! 535 00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:18,979 Heh! Ok, only Dee Dee could be kicked out 536 00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:21,420 of a restaurant and end up with a date. 537 00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:23,158 So you see my problem with her. 538 00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:31,257 Ah! Adam, call security. 539 00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:32,784 Marlon, I thought you promised 540 00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:34,217 you wouldn't come back here. 541 00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:36,133 Excuse me? I know it's you 542 00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:39,218 under this ugly disguise. Come here! 543 00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:44,618 Take it off! Get it off! 544 00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:46,395 Hey, somebody called for security? 545 00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:48,709 Yeah, this nutcase here is mar... 546 00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:51,536 Marlon? Excuse me. 547 00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:53,315 You know what? How about 548 00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:54,629 I just say sorry 549 00:19:54,715 --> 00:19:56,015 and give you a little scratch 550 00:19:56,107 --> 00:19:57,627 for your troubles? 551 00:19:57,718 --> 00:19:58,978 Hmph. Tsk! 552 00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:01,587 Next time, call fed ex. 553 00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,806 Ok, what the hell are you doing here? 554 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:08,340 My job. See, you told me to find a new dream, 555 00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,434 and I did. I'm a rent-a-cop now. 556 00:20:10,513 --> 00:20:12,253 And soon I'll join the force 557 00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:13,951 and become full-fledged five-o. 558 00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:16,608 Then I work my way up to dick. 559 00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:22,438 That does mean detective, right? 560 00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:24,915 Not in your case. 561 00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:49,197 Woman: Woohoo! [Giggles] 562 00:20:49,247 --> 00:20:53,797 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0